And then I said is a collection of women struggling with, trying to understand, and (hopefully) overcoming mental health difficulties.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 8.1% of women suffer with major depressive disorder and nearly three-quarters of women diagnosed with depression are engaged in some mental health treatment. That doesn’t count the women who are dysthymic, bipolar, have anxiety disorders, personality disorders, schizophrenia, bulimia, or countless other diagnoses. Or the staggering number of women who are assaulted and likely suffer mental health consequences and treatment outside of major depression.
Statistically, mental illness a common experience, and yet most of us keep it well hidden, appearing to be happy, healthy women. We have jobs and families; we are successful in many aspects of our lives even while we struggle.
Stigma probably plays a role in our silence. As much as we claim that it’s ok to get help, or that everyone sees a therapist — it’s not true. So, we don’t tell our employers that we need to leave early for a therapy appointment for fear they will be watching for any sign of incompetence. While a diabetic can be open about her reliance on insulin, we can never share our need for a Xanax when a panic attack starts building.
Second, we’re taught to silence ourselves, both as women and as patients. We’re often made to feel weak and powerless, to spend our lives feeling less than someone else. Even if we are intelligent and high-functioning, when we accept that we are somehow damaged and need help, we take a place of inferiority. We can’t question our doctors because they know more than us. We have little to add to the discussion.
But we’re taking a gamble that it’s not true. Our voices do matter. We have something worth saying, even if we have to do it anonymously. At the very least, we can share a story for the other women out there googling “I want to make out with my therapist.”
…Other women do google that, right?