Tag Archives: depression

January 28, 2012
7:16 pm
by: K

the more i write

The more I write, the less depressed I feel. What the fuck is that about?  Is all the bullshit about journaling true?  Did my commitment to doing this one small, selfish thing everyday make a difference? My concentration still sucks, … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression Tagged ,

January 26, 2012
10:00 pm
by: K

depression’s upside

NYT Magazine — Depression’s Upside Love a good pro-rumination article… “The alternative, of course, is that depression has a secret purpose and our medical interventions are making a bad situation even worse. Like a fever that helps the immune system … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression Tagged ,

January 25, 2012
9:14 pm
by: K

mushrooms

Check this out:  “Magic Mushroom” Trips Point to New Depression Drug Awhile back, when I was looking at street drugs to help with depression — ketamine, marijuana, etc — R suggested psilocybin as something that would probably be more helpful … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Medications Tagged ,

January 25, 2012
8:27 pm
by: L

why do i fucking care?

Because caring makes me sad.  It makes me hurt.  It makes me anxious.  It makes me hate me.  

Posted in Depression Tagged

January 22, 2012
10:32 pm
by: K

suicide: part 2

So, why have I not killed myself: (1)  I don’t want to fuck up my kids, and sadly, they have become old enough that they would probably understand that they weren’t enough for me if I called it a day.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Suicidal Thoughts Tagged ,

January 22, 2012
10:24 pm
by: K

suicide: part 1

I think about suicide and death a lot.  Like, a lot a lot.  And I have for a very long time.  My list for killing myself goes something like this: I’m overwhelmingly sad and it never goes away I feel … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Suicidal Thoughts Tagged ,

January 21, 2012
11:48 pm
by: K

missing me

Sometimes I miss the me I was. It’s not that the old me was anything special, but she was something more than this.  She was funny… kind of smart, a snappy dresser.  She still had a little confidence.  Even while … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Personal K Tagged , ,

January 20, 2012
10:24 pm
by: A

nothing

I don’t know why I’m here. I’ve typed…deleted…typed…deleted in this damn box for about 20 minutes now, and  nothing is coming out.  The only thing sticking is my usual line of “I hate myself and I want to die.”  That’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Suicidal Thoughts Tagged , ,

January 20, 2012
9:17 pm
by: K

something horrible

“I think when something horrible happens to you, you end up encoding it as ‘I am horrible’ instead of ‘I have endured something horrible.’  And that’s not fair to you.” R said that to me in November.  I emailed it … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, General Neurosis Tagged , ,

January 20, 2012
10:11 am
by: T

am i a narcissist?

One of the things I value is compassion toward others.  The career I chose requires me to have empathy for other’s needs and struggles.  Why is it then that I have, in my opinion, one of the most selfish, self-centered … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, General Neurosis Tagged ,