Monthly Archives: January 2012

testing the writing hypothesis

Well, I think I am going to be too busy or too embarrassed to write on here every day this week.  Which, of course, may be a good depression and writing experiment… Except it doesn’t control any other variables… Oh … Continue reading

Posted in General Neurosis Tagged

drowning in lonely

I have always had a fear of drowning.  Filling up and not being able to expand my lungs with air.  Water is scary.  Water has such power.  Interestingly enough, it holds both life-sustaining and life-ending power. Many times water – … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Depression Tagged , ,

the more i write

The more I write, the less depressed I feel. What the fuck is that about?  Is all the bullshit about journaling true?  Did my commitment to doing this one small, selfish thing everyday make a difference? My concentration still sucks, … Continue reading

Posted in Depression Tagged ,

silence

The baby didn’t have a mouth. There was silence when she was born.  The nurse aspirated the baby’s nose, murmuring to the stunned room, “It happens sometimes.”  She was breathing. In every other way, she was perfect.  Slightly plump around … Continue reading

Posted in General Neurosis, Therapy Tagged

depression’s upside

NYT Magazine — Depression’s Upside Love a good pro-rumination article… “The alternative, of course, is that depression has a secret purpose and our medical interventions are making a bad situation even worse. Like a fever that helps the immune system … Continue reading

Posted in Depression Tagged ,

mushrooms

Check this out:  “Magic Mushroom” Trips Point to New Depression Drug Awhile back, when I was looking at street drugs to help with depression — ketamine, marijuana, etc — R suggested psilocybin as something that would probably be more helpful … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Medications Tagged ,

why do i fucking care?

Because caring makes me sad.  It makes me hurt.  It makes me anxious.  It makes me hate me.  

Posted in Depression Tagged

oversharing

What is wrong with me!?  I told my shrink about this blog today…   R:  So, what have you been writing lately? K:  Oh, you know, I just started blogging about wanting to give you head.  Here, let me give … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Therapy Tagged , ,

mindfulness

I was told I should post, so I am… captain’s orders. Let’s see… Day 2 of therapy went ok.  I felt like I was in school with my workbook and pencil.  Well, I felt like an idiot mostly.  My brain … Continue reading

Posted in General Neurosis, Therapy Tagged ,

40% on a good day

Aristophanes’ story:  Once upon a time there were human beings without a sex — male or female — like we know today.  They were great, round creatures with two faces and eight limbs; they were fast and clever.  When the … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, General Neurosis, Personal K Tagged ,